Kieran Culkin has revealed that he still hasn’t seen his own Emmy-winning performance in the Succession series finale, speaking at a cast Q&A in Los Angeles on Tuesday, Entertainment Weekly reports. The finale aired at the end of May last year, but Culkin explains he was in Poland at the time and couldn’t log in to Max.

Unlike some actors who choose not to watch their own work, Culkin said that missing the finale “wasn’t on purpose,” after having to confess during the cast Q&A that he hadn’t actually watched the finished episode yet. “I was in Poland and I couldn’t sign into my Max account. It was an app issue. Then I went on vacation, then after that I was like, eh, that was like three months ago.”

The lack of urgency around catching the series finale makes sense, considering Culkin was there for many of the finale’s pivotal moments. While it’s not likely he’s going to have the ending spoiled for him, he’s unsure on what parts of the footage they filmed actually ended up in the final episode. “I want to go back and see it,” Culkin promises the rest of the panel, which included director Mark Mylod.

Culkin won the Emmy for Lead Actor in a Drama Series this week for his role as Roman Roy in the fourth season of Succession, and was also nominated for a Golden Globe. His co-stars Sarah Snook and Matthew Macfayden also won the Emmys for Best Lead Actress and Best Supporting Actor respectively. Succession’s final season also took home the trophy for Best Drama, beating out HBO’s live-action The Last of Us.